wasted breath.

11.

Fri, 03 May 2013 12:48:56 -0400

Beating heart, half forgotten
Cold hands, come closer
Lend your ears
Let the freezing rain whisper

Beating heart, half frantic
Turn up the tempo
on this dull, rusty old metronome
Inside my dull, rusted assembly of bones

Bleeding heart, please forgive me
I know not what I have done
Broken fingers, feel around in here
Confirm that there’s nothing to love

Nothing but vacant space
where a beating heart once was

10.

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 21:08:25 -0400

A smile falls upon your lips
as sure as the rain
On an otherwise dreary
Philadelphian day

Skeletal outlines
of what once was
and what now
is never to be found

My voice, the loudest wave of sound
falls like a tree upon the vacant forest ground

Never to make a sound
I’ll never make a sound

09.

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:24:51 -0400

“You are everything”
you claim with the most certain of eyes
“I am nothing,” I reply
Apprehensions arise

Take me for what I am
No more than how I presently exist in front of you
I am a name and 206 accompanying bones
Nothing but this surrounding skin can be called my own

So touch it, hold it, feel it, stab it
Soon to decompose, wither away anyway
As temporary as the words that fill the air
Forgotten, lost in a moment

All we have are those moments
and I’ve never felt more afraid

08.

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 22:46:31 -0400

Wake up, sit still, grind teeth, lose sleep
Clock hands wind and unwind, tick rhythmically
Borrowed time passing, wastes away anyway
The ache of each passing heartbeat ensues

Leaving behind every inconceivable feeling
Chained ankles, march forward
Constrained;
The footsteps I have commited a life to taking

Each successive day, the lines in my face
shape more and more into the very thing I can’t bear to see

And I’ve had some time to think

07.

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 02:11:44 -0400

Failure to reconstruct
these thin lines drawn between us
Failure to reconnect
connecting these dots drifiting further apart

Forcing the outcome
Pieces of a puzzle
that don’t seem to fit
And I don’t seem to fit

None of this seems to fit
Misconstrued fractions of a larger whole
and there’s a hole in my chest
A fraction missing, forever lost, incomplete at best

06.

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 02:33:25 -0400

We’ll never know each other

and as much as I say,
“I don’t care,”
I do.

Hang up
Give up
Shut down
Break down

These walls we build between one another
never to be torn down.

There’s comfort in a façade.

05.

Sat, 09 Feb 2013 01:23:58 -0500

I wish I could express well enough
How much it upsets me
How much it picks at me
Consumes every immediate thought

But I can’t, I never will be able to
For these words mean nothing
Merely inadequate
A waste of ink and tears

Feeling everything
Feeling nothing
Stabbing at my eyes
In the process

Wishing to see nothing
Wishing not to be seen
Without a rational thought
Wishing not to think

Cathexis sceams
Oy vey, woe is me

04.

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 23:20:00 -0500

Continuous cycle of inconsistent disbelief, comfort me. Too afraid and too aware to take the truth for granted; for in hard times, integrity is harder. And I’m not getting any number. Freezing rain falls on a parade of lies. Regress, renew, subdue. Fall victim to your woes again. Spiraling in an increasing downward manner towards a burnt out light at the end of an infinite tunnel.

The ubiquitous solution: Sleep more, think less
I refuse to maintain that same level of disconnect

03.

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 00:12:06 -0500

Just know
that no one will ever look at you with my eyes.

02.

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 00:06:31 -0500

I am all that I will never be.
What I cannot achieve defines me.
All in all,
All in vain.

01.

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 19:44:34 -0500

The bottom of a painfully deepening hole
unable to support even the weight of those digging it

Caving in, downward
for as long as we choose to let ourselves fall further

Further away
into inconclusive conclusions
that consume our days